Rooter’s Dozen

As a sports fan, I find it much more fun to watch a game that includes a team in which I have a vested interest. But any sporting event is more fun to watch if you are rooting for someone. Therefore, I have developed 12 rules by which I choose for whom to root in any given game. In descending order of influence:

1. FOR the team in which I have a legitimate vested interest (team of birth, alma mater, etc.): Yankees, Giants (NY), Penn State; also Knicks, Rangers, Liberty

2. FOR the team in which a loved one has a legitimate vested interest: University of Virginia, Fordham

3. AGAINST the historic or personal rival of a team from item No. 1 (or, sometimes, 2):
Red Sox, Notre Dame, Pitt, Cowboys, Alabama, Miami, Virginia Tech

4. FOR the team whose win has a negative impact on the Red Sox or Notre Dame

5. AGAINST the team coached by Pork-Faced Satan (Jimmy Johnson), any Holtz, Barry Switzer or Steve Spurrier

6. AGAINST the team with puppy-killers and/or an abundance of criminals on the team, or the team ardently supported by someone I hate

7. FOR the team with more Penn Staters

8. AGAINST the team from Texas

9. FOR the team with seriously die-hard, yet not dangerous, fans: Green Bay

10. AGAINST the team that betrayed its fans by moving to a different city: Dodgers, Ravens, Nationals

11. FOR the underdog or whichever team plays in colder weather

12. (tie) FOR the team of the city in which I currently live/AGAINST the team with the fairest-weather fans (this one can be hard, as when I lived in San Francisco, it was often the same team: SF Giants, 49ers)

I do hope this is helpful in making your personal rooting decisions.